3.2.21 1:27 pm

You aren’t here. Here with us while we’re shopping as a family at central market. You were supposed to be here. You were supposed to be in my arms or in a car seat. A casket spray in the floral department is what set me off. I was imagining it being yours in the coming days. trying to decide if it was perfect enough for you. Or if we should do the white phaleonopsis I had planned like my wedding bouquet. I snapped myself back to my original mission - by myself flowers. An attempt to bring joy back into a now barren life. Which one should it be. The indulgent arrangement. No wait that won’t work. It harkens to the fact that things are not normal right now. The normal I crave. It feels like sympathy flowers for myself. I pull myself out of the department and into produce and nearly run into a stroller. Looks like a new baby.