3.24.21 1:20 pm

The sadness is constant. constant to the point that you wonder if it ever won’t be. it’s been 2 1/2 months and I still wonder how I will physically and emotionally exist without you for the rest of my life. everyday continues to feel like a year and the only goal is survival. I think of myself as a child loss survivor. the only attainable goal seems to be survival. and many days it doesn’t feel attainable. when I think about not only how I will survive but how I will thrive to the point that Henry sees it can be done and it is a life worth living after you it overwhelms me. I have to prove to him that this can be done.

I was supposed to be spending these days holding you, feeding you and cuddling with you. I couldn’t wait to see your first smile.